Sunday, January 03, 2010

Eagle's wings

One day in autumn, while on the open prairie, I saw an eagle mortally wounded by a rifle shot. With his eyes still gleaming like small circles of light, he slowly turned his head, giving one last searching and longing look toward the sky. He had often swept those starry spaces with his wonderful wings. The beautiful sky was the home of his heart. It was his domain. It was there he had displayed his splendid strength a thousand times. In those lofty heights, he had played with the lightning and raced the wind. And now, far below his home, the eagle lay dying.

I guess in some respects, I am that eagle.

I've been in Melbourne for five years, and made many good memories here during my tertiary studies. I've visited a number of places in Victoria with friends and in my little 'holiday' trips. I've also made some contacts too. In my first years, I was close to some. In the next few, we grew a little distant, perhaps due to apathy, a busy schedule, or various other factors. In short, Melbourne was good. It was home.

I was in my place of birth, Kuching for a good few months in the middle of this year. Though I was technically 'at home', I still felt a sense of loss. I missed my pals in Melbourne, and things weren't as I thought it would be at home. I tried to make a few new contacts, but I guess they were mainly superficial. It was hard to call friends out, mainly because they were busy with work or wanted to spend more time with their respective families. In those lonely times, I learnt to overcome my loss, and perhaps 'forgot' my memories in Melbourne for a little while to ease the anguish.

When I returned, though my time away was brief, it was enough to change things in life as well as my relationships with others. Though I was busy, I couldn't get that nagging feeling out of my head that I wasn't ''at home'' in Melbourne as I used to be. I thought things will fix themselves, but they didn't. Like being in Kuching, I began to carve out a new path for myself, gaining some things, while losing some at the same time.

So in the meantime, until I figure out where's home, I shall continue to look skyward and not retreat, till I fly again on eagle's wings.



brandon said...

test test test.

robin said...

hey brandon,
you tricked me into thinking thats an actual wild eagle. Evil you.
Anyway, worry not.
Broken wings will mend in time. One day the eagle will fly again.

Ananda Sim said...

We of more than one country have a heap of happenings - emotional, filial, aspirational, maturity, relationships - coming on like anything. Having tasted one different cultural values and norms, lifestyles, one (of many) typical effects is that one is neither at home anymore here or there. Enjoy the feelings, it can get good, it can get back. There is no turning back, you are past the point of return. I've got a similar feeling blog entry today, and I'm heaps ahead of you in age.

David Chua said...

Life is shorter than we know it. Twinkling of an eye and its' gone. Home is where the ones who love you most and you love most are. Everybody else is dissolved into F0.95 Bokeh when you know where to focus. It doesn't matter where you live, but home is in your heart. Cheers, my brother. I've long given up on many superficial friends.


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