Tuesday, October 20, 2009

A letter I'd like to write

I used to write letters to someone special a long time ago. Thoughtful letters. Letters that mean alot, that really get your brain cracking and wanting to put your life and soul into that perfect piece of writing on a single A4 sheet. I still keep those letters. Every single one of them. They remind me of the good times, and I read them when I feel like it. 

I guess letters have that certain kind of originality in them. They tell alot about the person, from his/her handwriting, language, the type of paper used, whatever. Emails nowadays seem so sterile, so impersonal. With a click of a button, you get exactly what you'd like to say without the hassle of going to a post office, attaching a stamp, etc etc.

Recently, I watched a movie In the Land of Women by writer / director Jonathon Kasdan. It's a chick flick, obviously. I will spare you the details of what the movie is about, but you may read more about it here.

Towards the end of the movie, Carter writes a letter to his neighbour Sarah, a depressed housewife inflicted with cancer. She reads his letter in her hospital ward. And somehow, hearing the letter being read out, a certain sober feeling consumes me.

Dear Sarah,

I've been trying to write this letter for a while now; the kind you said you never received; the kind I've been working on my whole life.

I remember being 13 years old sitting in my room the whole night listening to the same song over and over. I thought that if I could write something beautiful, something honest, maybe I can make someone love me. 

I've taken alot for granted. I've never tried too hard. I've always avoided responsibility. I came here because I was running away. I wanted to be alone. Instead, I met you. I met you and you weren't taking anything for granted. 

I hope you get all the moments you deserve. I hope you get back... and the rooms with the paintings of the Hudson River. And I hope when you do, you take Lucy with you. Because I know she would love it.

I'm sorry if I've made your life more complicated. I'm sorry for a lot of things but most of all, I'm sorry I never got the chance to tell you no matter what happens next, I'll never be anything but grateful for every moment I've spent with you. 

And even though I keep fumbling for the right words, all I really wanted to say was thank you.

I hope someday, I can write these letters again. Once in a while, writing a personal, reflective letter does help us to wonder what life is about, and what we've taken for granted.



Evelyn said...

Tsk tsk tsk *smirk* I wonder who hor? Hahaha! Yup i'm reaaaaaally jobless becuz pmr finish liaw! Haha

Anonymous said...

why u sound so depressed??u must fight for your own hapiness!Wish u all the best ya^^


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